In the spirit of the holidays and with most profound apologies to Moore and/or Livingston my gift to you this holiday season is this little poem written with extreme poetic license. Please feel free to add a stanza of your own.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and in all of the NOCs
All was quiet with laptops secure in their docks;
The tapes were hung by the racks with care,
In hopes that St. Techolas soon would be there;
The techs were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While visions of the fun soon to be theirs;
And with Ballmer in his suit, and Jobs in his jeans,
Each trading barbs and being so mean.
When out in the DC there arose such a noise,
We thought it was the iPhones fighting the Droids.
Away with his iPad Jobs flew with no Flash,
And Ballmer on Win7, he hopes it won’t crash.
We needed the glow from the iPad to vanish the night
Surely not Kindle without its backlight.
That’s when we saw thanks to all this hardware,
Eight shiny gadgets and lots of software.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Tech.
More rapid than broadband his gadgets they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, iPhone! now, iPad! now, Droid and Facebook!
On, Kinect! on Mac! on, Kindle and Nook!”
To the top of the rack and post on my wall!
Now hack away! hack away! hack away all!"
With surprise I jumped to my feet,
As I knew right away what would be my next tweet!
As I drew in my head, and what did I see,
He looked almost as good as he would in 3D.
He was dressed all in black, from his cap to the floor,
Complete with backpack and pocket protector.
His posture is bad and his mind’s in a fog,
He’s been staying up late writing his blog.
Sitting all night slouched in a chair
He spends all his time on FarmVille and Foursquare.
He’s friended by millions but not a big deal
‘Cuz his friends are all virtual, none of them real.
St. Tech dropped his sack and needless to say,
Jobs told him “Just avoid holding it in that way”.
With a shrug into his bag he did dive,
After all the prep it was time for go-live.
There were gifts of Oracle, SAP and Microsoft too,
And Linux and Apple for when MS wouldn’t do.
With presents for all it was a bit of heaven,
Ballmer is hoping for a successful Windows Phone 7.
But with a shock of surprise he shouts “Ye Gads”
As jolly old St. Tech unloads his sack of iPads.
It was quite fun and at times quite merry;
For we all got an iPhone, Droid or BlackBerry.
Things are jolly and we haven’t a care;
Hurd and Apotheker are playing musical chairs.
Everyone runs, around and about;
Unfortunately Whitman and Fiorina, are already out.
Presents for all or haven’t you heard
Those who were on Gawker had to get a new password.
Some of us were good, and some not yet;
For them it was, a dose of Stuxnet!
Ellison opens his gift which draws quite a crowd,
For Larry ironically gets his own little cloud.
For the fanboys it’s more topics to flame,
But sadly their rants still sound the same.
The gift of privacy was quite the coup;
Except for those on Google’s Street-View.
So our new browsers went right to Netflix;
But some of us wouldn’t give up our old IE6.
Zuckerberg’s gift caused some to jeer,
They were hoping they’d be the “Person of the Year”.
But our excitement was high and hit new peaks,
You can read about it soon, in Wikileaks.
We played with the Kinect all flashy and sporty,
Then tweeted about it, all in one forty.
St. Tech was rushed and wanted to flee,
The feds were on his trail for no H-1B.
So with a flick of his finger across the touch screen
He posted on Facebook of all he had seen.
And on to Twitter, he typed with a smirk,
For even St. Tech is hooked on the social network!
He jumped in his Tesla for his delivery next,
Driving and swerving while continuing to text.
But I heard him exclaim, and he said with a scoff,
"Happy Christmas to all, and now I logoff."
This article is also posted on Forbes.com. Feel free to join in the discussion either on this site or at Forbes.com